MädchenTreppeStilltBaldJetzt. Or something.

I am proud of my kids.

But I am more proud when they display some characteristic which I myself am proud to display; meaning I managed to pass it on.

Maybe the Germans have a word for this1.

;o)

Magick. Oh shit.

Reading my last entry I remember something I use a lot but haven't put down (the technique) anywhere1.

Erm; scenario: I am about to fall asleep. I have a "brilliant" idea. What to do with it? Get up and write it down? Fuck no. I'm going to sleep. Or drunk. Or both.

Of course you kids will say, pick up the phone say "record this", or whatever.

But what if your phone is out of reach? This works..

Get the idea formed in your mind then touch a thing. A pen is good. Move the idea from your brain to the pen (or any object you will again touch). You do this with your mind, of course.

The next time you touch that thing the idea will flood back into your brain. Have a dictating device ready beforehand.

Simple.

;o)

more obvious shit..

Yes, it's my night off. No kids.

Okay, so this is the answer to that recurring question, "where will I put this new thing?", referring to some item which has entered the home, most likely procured from a shop.

Ooooh, this is KonMari-in-reverse, for engineers. It goes like this.. Oh wait, I already told you everything you need. If it wasn't utterly apparent, let us here plant a flag; a marker for your aging brain. Or pay attention..

IN [pause] THE [pause] FUTURE [pause] when I go looking for this thing, I'll be asking myself, "where would I put it?", you know, "me", "that" guy. Where would he put such a thing. Tell you what; THAT is where I will put it. Do it now.

And yeah OKAY MARIE if I don't use it again within the next *cough* months I'll throw it into the universal-spin-cycle. Fo sho. Meanwhile it Goes HERE.

As in right there.

;o)

Stop doing that stoopid shit..

I have maybe ten apps1 running and I want to get to my browser (so I can do Ctrl+T - type search term - {Enter}). My hands are at the keyboard.

I have a number of options, of course, including grabbing the mouse, which I'd rather not. Alt-Tab feels comfortable, but involves maybe (how many did I say?) TEN actions (okay, five tops as you would see where your app was and add a shift key to go the other way; right? But still..).

Of course, on Windows one can simply do Win+{insert numeric place in taskbar}, e.g..

  Win+22.

Thing is, even after you realise this handy time-saving facility exists and could save you weeks of lifetime, you do not use it. Why? Force of habit + laziness, is why.

Ouch! Yes, there is a point between the two things; tiny at first; where we can force ourselves in, like raindrops splitting a mountain, widening the gap, pushing the old habit out and the new one in.

Force of habit has us doing it the old way at first. By the time we notice we're done; such is the speed of the body. Then laziness kicks in. Or not. That's our choice. I have observed only a small sample, but they almost to a one continue to do things the slow way even when they know it's the slow way.

Even when you prick yourself deeply in the fleshy part of the palm with a thumbtack for each Alt-Tab error it takes weeks. Muscle memory, see.

Re-training that shit takes time and mental effort; discipline; a thing rarely trained into the young. Even my own young. Best not to train the wrong way to begin with; if possible, I suppose. Otherwise good luck! Re-training muscle memory isn't easy. But it is doable.

Many techniques work; use whatever comes to mind. It's never too late; simply rewind back to the moment before the action; do it again, the right way this time. It's an investment of time quickly repaid; suiting a particular personality.

Others need to catch themselves in the act, so to speak.

;o)

AI, oh aye.

One thing about living through all this zero-to-one (70s to 20s) tech business is the appreciation of what AI is. And more importantly; isn't.

Example; for at least two decades I've been waiting for software to pay attention to what I'm doing. And it's still not doing it. Why not?

What? When I hit "Esc" after repeating some task three times unsuccessfully. That is recorded exactly nowhere. And actioned never. This bothers me. We (humans) are better than that. Aren't we?

Actually scrub that. We are not. Humans, I mean. Better than that I mean. We are not. Which is why it hasn't happened en-masse; I guess.

Sure, there is software "out there" which has some of these qualities, but it hasn't been released to you - the public. At least mine hasn't. Well, maybe checksum, some. And I still don't see anything remotely clever going on in that space which should by now be clever. But isn't.

Alt+F4 means something. "huifhy78e3r4huy78oe w3r4h783fr5dgfrdsvgfzcdvf4ghuy8 sewgfr5hu7i8pe fr54whu798pf4rhu798p", does not. Why not?

When I slam both hands on my keyboard repeatedly for three whole seconds, why isn't the software registering hundreds of nonsensical key clicks? Simply, because no one told it to.

As more than one person has pointed out to me: humans are shit. Not a sentiment I agree with entirely; but I dig it; shit happens and you think, "if I were the person in charge of shit happening there I would make shit happen like this, and fuck me not like that".

Or something like that. Not being in control, even though you paid for a licence (or license, if you are in the USA) is no fun.

Be careful what you personify. We actually accept the fact that the entity on the other end is not human, but being a collective sort of humanness, is actually good enough. Even when it is plain wrong. Which it most often is; especially when used outside pure archive research accumulation.

Basically nothing scares me. Even this shit doesn't scare me. But I do think, "Fuck me, what sort of world have I brought kids in to?". If the digital world can be 100% created, and our kids spend 90% of their free time in the digital world, erm, well the Mathematics is only justifiable FOR $CIENCE!

Their little brains will simply be different from us oldies. This is now fact. In a tiny slice of time we have reshaped the human brain; not with enlightened discourse and vital experience, but with Hary Potter and Peppa Pig and whatever else you fed them.

Welcome to the grand experiment. As adults you could not resist the exquisite kid's- pastime on offer, better than any auto-rocker, and as kids the irresistible tap-tap their way into mental oblivion, you can at least be safe in the knowledge that you "didn't know". The data will take time to filter in, but they will say this:

Screen Time == Bad.

They need enough that they know how to fluidly operate the latest systems, but not so much that they will prefer it over real-life activity.

When they start to slip into the latter category, you gently shift them back1. Simple.

Or else leave them to it and continue with your "work". Please do let me know how that goes.

So it's about quality. They have X amount of time on their device. We want them to learn. We want them to have "fun". But above all, we want peace, right? Bring on the AI ...

I get requests from Google Play Store. THIS kid wants to install THIS app; YES/NO. Mostly it's games. And mostly they are shit games which I deny; after having researched said game. Once in a while I get an oddball request from my youngest, like..

AI Chat Assistant

Erm. No. Hardeny. I instead make a note to spend more time talking with my youngest. I thought we did heaps of that. But the data say it's not enough. So of course I adapt.

Not that I am 100% against my children communicating with AI. But my youngest hasn't yet learned the distinction between AI and human. And even if they had; they are too young to resist the allure of the realistic-like interactions AI can provide.

I spent almost an hour with it recently. Attempting to coax any sign of intelligence. Still nothing. I try this every year. For years now. The best LLM isn't fit to clean an ant's boots. And ants (who may be even smarter than we are; I'm not certain yet) don't even wear boots.

Regardless; pandora's box has been opened. My eldest chose to stay inside the parental controls after turning 13. Legally, he could have opted out, but didn't. Can I phrase this yet another way? I feel like I'm talking to AI, or trying to survive some translate mechanism; what I am saying is, I am trusted over AI.

Or, more than AI; to moderate the input, to regulate the feed. The data say scary and I am the force that lies between there and here. So I stand, like some knight, at the gateway between reality and all that shit, a parry, a block. Hard work.

I have from now until they are eighteen.

;o)

ps. I apologise for the full stops where there should be commas, but I have been working with stable diffusion for a straight week.

Stardom

Make no mistake. I could have been bigger than The Beatles.

Who were in turn, as John Lennon said, bigger than Jesus*.

Way bigger than Bowie, who filled space on albums sometimes just to fill space (on Albums). I wouldn't do that to you. I'm way bigger than that. Like an iceberg, though.

As a kid I would do things; anything; and folk would say, "Hey, you could be doing THAT!", which was by some internal extrapolation, supposed to entice me along a path of their collective choosing, or some shit. In other words; fame.

Oh hey! Bowie did a song about that. Or was that fashion? I forget …

It just kept coming for me. Whatever I did people wanted to applaud, then share, then more applause and you get the picture. I DO NOT WANT THIS***.

Everyone first assumes that others share their values, I suppose. And that's when most people are opening their mouths, speaking; so that's what you get. When was the last time you got a letter along the lines of...

Dear <You>,

When we last spoke, at <whenever event>, I said that maybe you should <insert any damned thing> but I realise now that I was so very wrong.

That's just what *I* would do! I totally respect that you are not me and you should do whatever you damned well like, regardless of how it rubs against my sensibilities.

I'm so sorry. You go!

Or a text. Or call. Or them saying something like that to your actual face?

You may argue; hey! religious types don't admit they are wrong because they totally believe they are right. That's how powerful belief is! Or, Hey! Scientists are always admitting they are wrong and moving with the data. That's how fucking groovy scientists are.

I don't dispute either of these facts, but instead steer you around to this simple reality:

I am not you.

Yes, the whole universe is within a drop of water and DNA continually contains your entirety and beyond and we share those bonds, BUT: I AM NOT YOU.

The lack of decent basic philosophy in "developed world" school is criminal (look it up). I think of all the children who struggle to think, and it brings me to tears. There is a lot to consider this century. You would think they would equip the youth. Nope.

Instead they devote time to Mindfulness bullshit multi-faith appreciation. WTF! You can't appreciate *anything* until you get your head straight. Childhood is about that. THEN you get to dig the diversity4.

I don't practice religion. At least, I don't practice *your* religion. Whatever it is. On this subject I have firm beliefs, built from a lifetime of real experience. But in my parenting I have one goal: Keep them an open mind.

I hope my kids are smarter than me. One DEFINITELY is! Good. They can pick up on where my feeble brain leaves off. But not by my training. I do basics; logic, language, physics, math. I don't mess with advanced topics unless it's a by-product of some natural wonder; of which there are daily many.

Note I say, I "try". My own perspective is woven into every word, so I don't imagine them immune from the me of it. But I hope that when I'm done there's balance. For sure; when I notice myself focusing along a line or veering into propaganda, I make the opportunity to attempt a balancing myself; presenting an opposite view; nomatter how ridiculous.

Everyone fucks up their kids. It's a question of how much and in what way. Good parents try to minimize the damage. Even reverse it, while there's time for quick reversals.

Do you really want to be famous? A good question to ask yourself before you hop along that path.

Even better to be the sort of person who *should* have been famous. You walk along the street at night and random folks call you out, point at you, hug you, but actually don't know you5. So long as there's free booze and Dube and the rest, how can you complain? You also get that with fame. x 10. But are these the most important things to you?

Before diving into anything, it's definitely worth considering *all* the possibilities. Fame sounds good. But few are truly up for it. Riches is great; if you do it ethically and under the radar. In this world absolutely anything is possible for any individual. What you want; there is already a manual. But what do you actually want?

In the dramas in my mind, the eventualities and possibilities of things (with children on-board), I weighed up easy jet travel, scuba-diving, great seats at restaurants, constant adoration from anyone withing six feet, and the rest, with; well, basically what I have right now. And for the totally stupid; I got exactly what I wanted.

Restaurants are okay if you have to, but I much prefer to actually cook. There's always jobs for the kids, which are a hoot; ALSO trains them in cooking; which is 100% essential training. Also(3), I'm one of the world's finest chefs. Fact. Ask anyone who's ever dined with me. Ever. I don't need fame, or a TV show or a book or any of that shit. I just want to see the look on my kid's face when their taste buds kick in. Isn't that enough? If not, something else is lacking.

And I know exactly what it feels like to have thousands of people clapping and screaming and crying at you. It's pretty magical, and crazy addictive. But that doesn't mean I want to do it again and again AND AGAIN. I did it. There's more.

This is a fucking crazy world. You can believe and scheme and make any shit happen. And now it's all digital, well, same but with £B attached.

I remember our IRC chatroom back in the day. We would challenge each other to get to the top of Google. If you took a week, you were basically shit-canned. We created shit that you consider standard. Dicks would drop in for advice, which they got, and now they run multi-billion dollar companies. But they are still dicks. And mostly not happy people. Especially Elon. Word.

Things have changed. You can move millions of people to do a stupid thing in minutes. You can't keep up with tech. Stop trying. Never forget: location. Location. LOCATION. Watch where these dicks are POSITIONING themselves right now. This will give you an idea about where they are going. Hint: it's not in your best interests.

So now I'm thinking it might not have been such a bad idea to be bigger than the beatles. At least then I could have thrown a heavy spike into the works. You see the works, right?

No? Och well. We are most definitely fucked.

Unless what's-her-face, hold it's coming, Katie, Kate something. Wait. One second. Erm. Oh Shit! It's on the tip of my tongue. Price! No Spears! No!Nonono wait. ah. eh. HA! RIGHT! WE ARE FUCKED!!!!!!!

Unless Taylor Swift does something about it.

;o)

Get Metric Already.

Water. The basis of almost every living thing.

Alcohol. At back of 90% of existent children.

You probably haven't touched pure alcohol. Good. And you very likely haven't tasted it. "Astringent" would be an understatement. Forget all that touchy-feelie-shite and focus on the Math (or for the uptight, "Maths", aka, "Mathematics", nobend, aka, "knob-end", referring to the outermost extremity of a knob (also known as 'penis', though we are referring to it in the lyrical sense); an already rarely-used and instantly-forgotten part of, erm, what were we convibing?

Oh yeah, alcohol - definitely for adults, no matter how long it takes you to get there, body-wise - and how it's right there doing what all nature is doing except us saying look at amazing me being fucking amazing fucking nature trying to show you you and failing cuz you are, well, you).

We will trail off here, pretending to forget all about alcohol and its universality ...

At precisely zero degrees (0 ^C ) water freezes (at sea level). At precisely 100 degrees (again, sea-level) water boils. A meter is the distance light travels in a vacuum in 1/299,792,458th of a second. Okay, that's not so easy to measure, but for sure, regardless of where and who you are, you can do it.

These globally-observable phenomena are utilized in the creation of what we enlightened folks call, "The Metric System". Put simply..

HUMAN LIMITS DIVIDED BY 100 (which is a number easily dividable by 10 (which is; hey; fingers)).

I mean ALL humans.

A "foot" is only that for a small minority of earth's population (some white guy hunners of years ago).

Same for an inch (last digit of some white dude's thumb way back in the past).

And so on.

FFS. Wake up America! I am so bored of having to convert to your stupid measurement system. Just Do It! Go Metric.

Sure, some Trump supporters will complain, but you know; they are Trump supporters, so their opinion means precisely nothing.

Absolutely zero.

;o)

fraction-wit

Someone once said that poetry is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration. Idiot.

Poetry is either 99.9999999999999% inspiration and 0.0000000000001 perspiration, or 100% inspiration, maybe spare-time perspiration, of course.

Like I said.

;o)